771 Children of Gay parents speak out against Gay Marriage

Children of Gay parents speak out against Gay Marriage

These samples are from http://australianmarriage.org

Newsletter published on 6 November 2015

(1) The Kids Are Not Alright: A Lesbian’s Daughter Speaks Out - Brandi
Walton
(2) My Father Was Gay. Why I Oppose Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage - Dawn
Stefanowicz
(3) On radio with ‘Amy’: “I desperately wanted a daddy”
(4) Interview with Katy Faust, raised by lesbians, but lobbying against
Gay Marriage
(5) Millie Fontana grew up in a lesbian household, speaks about her
experiences
(6) Traditional Families are still best

(1) The Kids Are Not Alright: A Lesbian’s Daughter Speaks Out - Brandi
Walton

Lesbian's daughter speaks out against Gay Marriage

http://thefederalist.com/2015/04/21/the-kids-are-not-alright-a-lesbians-daughter-speaks-out/

PARENTING  The Kids Are Not Alright: A Lesbian’s Daughter Speaks Out

Some children of gay parents, just like some gay people, do not support
gay parenting or gay marriage. Male and female biology each provide
something every child needs—together.

By Brandi Walton

APRIL 21, 2015

Dear LGBT Community,

I am not your daughter. I never carried a flag in one of your gay pride
parades. I have never written a letter on your behalf to a congressman
or anyone else, and I have never felt the need to make people accept the
fact I am the daughter of a lesbian. Perhaps it’s because she never felt
the need to force people to accept her for being one.

No, I would never align myself to a community as intolerant and
self-absorbed as the LGBT community, a community that demands tolerance
with fervor and passion, yet does not give it in return, even to its own
members at times. In fact, this community attacks anyone who does not
agree with them, no matter how lovingly any difference of opinion is
expressed.

I myself am a product of the Lesbian Revolution of the 1980s. My mother
always knew she liked girls, but tried hard to be a good, straight,
southern Baptist girl. When I was a year old, she left my dad for
another man, whom we lived with until I was somewhere around four years
old. After the divorce, she told my father to leave, which he did, and
in his own words, “I did because I knew I couldn’t fight the entire
family to see you.” I cannot remember the man she left him for very
well, but I can remember being happy living with him. It did not last,
however, and when she left him, she left him for a woman.

I knew from a young age that living with two women was not natural. I
could especially see it in the homes of my friends who had a mom and a
dad. I spent as much time with those friends as I possibly could. I
yearned for the affection that my friends received from their dads. I
wanted to know what it was like to be held and cherished by a man, what
it was like to live with one from day to day.

I yearned for the affection that my friends received from their dads. As
far as I was concerned, I already had one mother; I did not need
another. My dream was that my mother would decide she wanted to be with
men again, but obviously that dream did not come true. My grandfathers
and uncles did the best they could when it came to spending time with me
and doing all the daddy-daughter stuff, but it was not the same as
having a full-time father, and I knew it. It always felt secondhand.

Growing up without the presence of a man in my home damaged me
personally. All I wanted from the time I was a little girl was a normal
family. When I graduated high school, my thoughts were not entirely
where they needed to be. While my friends were excited about college, a
piece of me was missing, and I knew I would never feel whole until I
found it.

I had a desire unlike any other to create my own family and have
stability, and this led to two extremely unhealthy relationships.
Luckily, I found my way out of both, but after being hurt and used so
badly, I decided happiness just was not meant for me. Shortly
afterwards, I met my husband, and everything clicked. For the first
time, I felt alive and complete. Having children and seeing a man parent
a child for the first time was beautiful and awe-inspiring. It only
reinforced my belief that a child needs a mother and a father, and that
same-sex parenting and single parenting are far inferior to heterosexual
parenting when done correctly.

Knowing next to nothing about males is hardly all that was hard about
being raised by two women. It probably comes as no surprise that growing
up in Podunk, Oklahoma, was not a walk in the park. Unlike other kids
who were apparently raised in gay utopias, I grew up very alone and
isolated. I was an only child and there weren’t other kids around like
me to talk with and relate to. No one I knew understood what I struggled
with each day, and I had no option but to keep it all inside.

As an adult, I have tried to talk to my mom about how difficult my life
was, but she simply cannot relate because she was raised by a mom and a
dad. As a child, I would not have spoken out about the way I was being
raised, either. I love my mom. She was the center of my universe and the
thought of saying something to outsiders that would have hurt her
devastated me. Writing this letter right this very moment is devastating me.

But I am doing it anyway. I am doing it because people need to know that
it is not all roses. The effects of growing up the way I did still plays
a part in my life today. I was beyond self-conscious as a child, and
constantly worried about what others thought of me. I was always
terrified of someone finding out my mom was a lesbian and then wanting
nothing to do with me. For most of my life, the perceived opinions of
others have dominated, and only recently have I been able to let that go.

That is only the tip of the iceberg. The studies claiming we are just as
well or better off than our peers raised by straight parents are hardly
scientific in most cases, and do not represent us all. People need to
know that some children of gay parents do not agree with gay adoption
and marriage, just like some gay people themselves don’t agree with it,
either! But you will notice that fact is not making headlines.

The Huffington Post published two responses to Heather Barwick’s recent
letter here at The Federalist, and both were written by people who were
raised with members of the opposite sex in the home—a male raised by
women, and a female who had brothers present. It makes total sense that
their experiences were not like mine and Heather’s, since we were both
raised by women.

And just because one product of artificial insemination does not feel
she was robbed does not mean others don’t. I am aware there are kids out
there who disagree with my point of view, just like there are gays out
there who disagree with the LGBT community’s point of view. But to
suggest this is not a reason to validate and listen to a handful of
children raised by gays, and who are against it, is ridiculous. After
all, it is but a handful of people demanding we redefine marriage and
parenting, and we all see how well that’s going.

Not Yours,

Brandi Walton

Brandi Walton grew up in southern Oklahoma as the only child in a
lesbian household. She has decided to come forward at this time to
discuss the issues surrounding children of homosexuals in hopes of
educating the general public. She is married and is the mother of four
children.

(2) My Father Was Gay. Why I Oppose Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage - Dawn
Stefanowicz

http://dailysignal.com/2015/04/13/my-father-was-gay-why-i-oppose-legalizing-same-sex-marriage/

My Father Was Gay. Why I Oppose Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage.

Dawn Stefanowicz  /  April 13, 2015  /

Dawn Stefanowicz is the author of "Out From Under: The Impact of
Homosexual Parenting."

It took me decades to come to my views on same-sex “marriage” in light
of my personal experiences.

 From infancy, I was unwittingly identified under the gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transsexual (GLBT) umbrella. During the first 30 years of
my life, I garnered many personal, social and professional experiences
with my father, whom I always loved, and his partners. My father, a
successful executive recruiter, taught me a strong business ethic.

My Childhood

I was exposed to a lot of expressed sexuality in the home and
subcultures. I experienced uncountable losses. Gender was supposed to be
boundless; yet, I did not see my father and his partners valuing, loving
and affirming women. My father’s preference for one gender (male)
created an inner sense of inequality for me.

As a dependent child and teen, I was not allowed to say anything that
would hurt the feelings of the adults around me. If I did, I could face
ostracism or worse. During my twenties, I achieved both academic and
career goals, but for a long while, I denied the impact my childhood had
had and lied to protect my father and his partners.

I did not see my father and his partners valuing, loving and affirming
women. My father’s preference for one gender (male) created an inner
sense of inequality for me.

In 1991, my father died of AIDS. None of my father’s
partners/ex-partners are still alive.

I did not have all the words to express my thoughts and feelings until
my late twenties and early thirties, so it took a while before I went
public, but I knew that my father never would have supported same-sex
“marriage.” Naturally, he knew that every child is created from both a
father and a mother. He never required me to call any of his sexual
partners “dad;” instead I called each of them by first name. My father
told me that he always wanted children.

The Push to Quiet Me and Others

Due to media silencing, political correctness, GLBT lobbying efforts and
loss of freedom of speech, it is very hard to tell my story.

But I am not alone. Over 50 adult children from alternative households,
plus ex-spouses with children, and parents who have left the “gay”
lifestyle have contacted me. Very few children will share their stories
publicly.

For many of us adult children of gay parents, we have come to the
conclusion that same-sex marriage is more about promoting adults’ ”
“desires” than about safeguarding children’s rights to know and be
raised by their biological parents.

Due to media silencing, political correctness, GLBT lobbying efforts and
loss of freedom of speech, it is very hard to tell my story.

I feel so strongly about this issue that I have testified before
lawmakers in Canada, regarding hate crime legislation, same-sex marriage
and age of consent laws, and I have testified in nine U.S. states, to
the 5th Circuit and to the Supreme Court, and in other countries.

How Same-Sex Marriage Has Changed Canada

Statements like this are lies: “Permitting same-sex couples (now also
throuples) access to the designation of marriage will not deprive anyone
of any rights.”

When same-sex marriage passed in Canada in July 2005, parenting was
immediately redefined, removing parentage from its biological origins.
Canada’s gay marriage law, Bill C-38, included a provision to erase the
term “natural parent” and replace it across the board with
gender-neutral “legal parent” in federal law. Now, all children have
“legal parents,” as defined by the state, which means parental rights
have been usurped by the government.

In effect, same-sex marriage permits state powers to override the
autonomy of biological parents. Necessary parental rights to teach
children your beliefs, express your opinions, and practice your personal
faith are infringed upon by the state when your beliefs, opinions and or
faith practices are in opposition to what is taught and promoted at
school. In fact, in Ontario, Canada, the Human Rights Commission
regulations permeate and surround all public education.

For example, if you teach your children that same-sex sexual
relationships are wrong and that every child has a father and a mother,
and that only man-woman sex in marriage is allowed, you run the risk of
thought police questioning your beliefs, especially if your children
discuss these subjects in the classroom.

Consequently, parents experience state interference when it comes to
moral values and teachings about family, parenting and sex education in
schools. Also, children are deprived of knowing and being raised by both
their biological father and mother since same-sex marriage allows for
children to have same-sex parents where at least one parent is unrelated
to the child.

Additionally, since the undefined term “sexual orientation” was added as
a protected category under Canada’s hate crime law in 2004 and same-sex
marriage became legalized in 2005, guaranteed fundamental freedoms of
the Canadian Constitution have been reinterpreted, eroded and/or
nullified by activist courts and quasi-courts with no real juries, also
known as the Human Rights Commissions. The federal Human Rights
Commission (HRC) has had a three-decade 100 percent conviction rate for
hate speech.

Though Section 13(1) of the Canadian Human Rights Act was repealed in
2013, which came into effect in 2014, many people believe that a similar
act will be proposed soon after the 2015 federal election. At the same
time, many of the Canadian provinces have similar hate speech codes with
high conviction rates which effectively restrict speech and blogging
freedoms. Activists and special interest groups have long supported
censorship of speech and internet communications in Canada.

In Canada, freedom to assemble and speak freely about man-woman
marriage, family and sexuality are restricted.

Human Rights Tribunals/Commissions in Canada police speech, and penalize
upstanding citizens for their speech and expressions in opposition to
particular sexual behaviors. It takes only one complaint against a
person to be brought before the tribunal, costing the defendant tens of
thousands of dollars in legal fees. The Commissions have the power to
enter private residences and remove all items pertinent to their
investigations, checking for hate speech.

Yet the plaintiff making the complaint has his legal fees completely
paid for by the government. Even if the defendant is found innocent, he
cannot recover his legal costs. If he is found guilty, he must pay fines
to the person(s) who brought forth the complaint.

Religious Freedoms Under Attack in Canada

Under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which forms the first
part of the Constitution Act 1982, everyone was to have been guaranteed
the following fundamental freedoms: (a) freedom of conscience and
religion; (b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression,
including freedom of the press and other media of communication; (c)
freedom of peaceful assembly; and (d) freedom of association.

Most faith communities have become politically correct to avoid fines
and loss of charitable status.

In reality, these freedoms have been restricted. Businesses must provide
goods and services to all customers, without regard to business owners’
conscience rights. Employers’ hiring practices cannot discriminate, even
if a potential employee’s sexual practices and relationships are frowned
upon. (For example, a religious college couldn’t refuse to hire someone
who didn’t share the college’s views on sexuality without risking a
Human Rights Commission complaint.)

Freedom to assemble and speak freely about man-woman marriage, family
and sexuality are restricted. Activists often sit in on religious
assemblies, listening for anything discriminatory towards GLBT, so a
complaint can be made to the Human Rights Commission. Most faith
communities have become politically correct to avoid fines and loss of
charitable status.

Canadian media is restricted by the Canadian Radio-television and
Telecommunications Commission, the media censoring arm of government and
similar to the Federal Communications Commission. If the media air
anything considered discriminatory towards GLBT, broadcasting licenses
can be revoked, and Human Rights Commissions can charge fines and
restrict future airings.

I am a witness and I don’t want America to lose her hard-won freedoms as
my fellow Canadians have. Marriage must remain between a man and a woman
to the exclusion of all others.

(3) On radio with ‘Amy’: “I desperately wanted a daddy”

http://australianmarriage.org/on-radio-with-amy-i-desperately-wanted-a-daddy/

This was a special few minutes during talkback radio a few days ago,
when a young woman, call her 'Amy', rang to tell her story.

She had been raised by her mother and a lesbian partner. As a young
girl, she describes the grief and loss at not having a father.

"I desperately wanted a daddy".

Hear her account of what it meant to be forced by her mother's choice to
have no father in her life; hear of how she managed to discover who her
father was and what came next.

As AMF President David van Gend summed up at the end, once Amy had
finished telling her story:

     "Straight from the heart and it clarifies everything: little girls
need dads, big girls need dads; little boys need mums and they need
dads… We mustn't mess with the deep things of human nature".

(4) Interview with Katy Faust, raised by lesbians, but lobbying against
Gay Marriage

http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2015/s4292362.htm

Interview: Katy Faust, who serves on the Academic and Testimonial
Councils of the International Children's Rights Institute.

Australian Broadcasting Corporation

Broadcast: 12/08/2015

Reporter: Tony Jones

Tony Jones speaks with Katy Faust, who was raised by lesbian parents and
is in Australia to lobby against same sex marriage.

Transcript

TONY JONES, PRESENTER: Our next guest, Katy Faust, serves on the
academic and testimonial council of the International Children's Rights
Institute. As you heard in Tom Iggulden's story, she's a fierce opponent
of same-sex marriage, despite being raised by same-sex parents and
describing her mother as a loving gay parent. She's in Canberra to lobby
against same-sex marriage. Katy Faust joins us now from Parliament House.

Thanks for being there.

KATY FAUST, TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE ADVOCATE: Thanks so much for having me.

TONY JONES: Have you actually managed to speak to any Australian
politicians yet?

KATY FAUST: We did. My - my partner in crime, Millie Fontana, who is a
resident of Melbourne and also raised by two mothers and I had a chance
to speak with a couple of members of Parliament yesterday.

TONY JONES: Not the Prime Minister so far?

KATY FAUST: No, no. He hasn't called yet.

TONY JONES: Now how is it that the daughter of lesbian mothers has
become a leading opponent of gay marriage? How does that work?

KATY FAUST: Simply because I recognised that while my mother was a
fantastic mother and most of what I do well as a mother myself I do
because that's how she parented me, she can't be a father. Her partner,
an incredible woman - both of these women have my heart - cannot be a
father either. Children have a right to be in relationship with their
mother and father whenever possible, and as a society, we shouldn't
normalise a family structure that requires children to lose one or both
parents to be in that household.

TONY JONES: Now trying to sway the US Supreme Court to rule against gay
marriage, you wrote to Justice Anthony Kennedy before that vote and you
said you used to say, "I'm happy my parents got divorced so I could get
to know all you wonderful women." Now you seemed to be saying that was
all a lie.

KATY FAUST: Well, there's a lot of pressure on children of gay parents
to please their parents, to sort of carry the banner forward for them
and you can read about this not just in conservative publications, but
even books like Families Like Mine, which was publicised by a pro-gay
marriage daughter of gays and she admitted and several of the kids in
that book admitted that it's very difficult to be honest about this
because of the political pressure surrounding this topic. There's
several children that have contacted me even since I started writing
about this saying, "I agree with you, but I'll never come out and speak
about this publicly because my relationship with my parent is too tenuous."

TONY JONES: Now Katy, did you find God somewhere in this journey towards
anti-gay marriage?

KATY FAUST: Well, I was not raised a Christian, but I did become a
Christian in high school.

TONY JONES: And did that change things? I mean, did you decide that
homosexuality was against the Scriptures, against God's will, something
of that nature?

KATY FAUST: Well, I - it took a long time, honestly, for me to get on
board with what biblical sexuality says, because there's a fierce
protectiveness I think that all children have for their parents, but
what I was delighted to find when I read Scripture is that God has an
incredible heart for the orphan and that he's very concerned with the
plight of children. And that lines up very much with where we need to go
in this discussion, which is focusing on the rights of children
primarily as opposed to emphasising the desires of adults, which tend to
take centrestage when we're talking about this issue.

TONY JONES: Now after your parents divorced, because you originally had
a father and a mother. They divorced. Your father, you say, went off
with other women. Why have you focused your main criticism on the
homosexual part of the equation and not your father?

KATY FAUST: Well, I think that I'm pretty fair in my statements to say
that whether you're heterosexual or homosexual, children have rights.
And adults - the onus needs to be on adults to conform to the rights of
children rather than children fitting into an adult's lifestyle. And
certainly, I don't think that homosexuals are responsible by any means
for the crisis that we face in America when it comes to family structure
these days. Absolutely, heterosexuals have led the way on that charge. I
got into this discussion primarily because what I heard from the gay
lobby was that children don't care who's raising them, right? That
children are just fine if it's two men or two women. And the reality is
that anybody that's talked to a child who has lost a parent, whether
through divorce, abandonment, third-party reproduction or death, kids
absolutely care. Family structure matters to children. And so I heard
the LBGT lobby saying it doesn't care - they don't care and I don't
think that that's reality.

TONY JONES: OK. You also were motivated politically once President Obama
announced his support for same-sex marriage and you set up an anonymous
blog called Ask the Bigot. Why did you do that? Why'd you call it that
to start with and what happened when you did it?

KATY FAUST: Yes. Well, you know, strangely, the URL wasn't taken for
that web name. Not sure why. But it was born in an angry moment. I'm not
really a confrontational person. But what happened when Obama evolved is
to me it felt like media was free to play the bigot card. So now
everybody that doesn't support gay marriage is a bigot, right?, because
either you're isolated and you don't know any gay people or you're
indoctrinated or you're homophobic or you're the equivalent of a racist.
And they were not giving any attention to people that had a genuine
argument, a well-founded secular, convincing argument for supportive
traditional marriage. And so I started blogging anonymously ...

TONY JONES: I was gonna make that point. You started blogging
anonymously. What happened? Why did you go public, as it were?

KATY FAUST: I didn't. I was outed by a gay blogger who felt like I
needed to be held accountable for my stance and the truth is that I
would not have filed a brief with the Supreme Court, I wouldn't be
having this interview with you today, because I never intended to be
involved in the legal fight, but because I was outed in the name of love
and tolerance, I am talking with you today.

TONY JONES: OK. So, just going to that Supreme Court decision. In June,
Justice Kennedy authored - the same man you wrote to authored the
Supreme Court's decision in favour of same-sex marriage. He began in
agreement with you, saying that no union is more profound than marriage.
But he said of the gay people who had petitioned the court, "It would be
to misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of
marriage. Their plea is that they respect it so much, respect it so
deeply that they seek to find its fulfilment for themselves." Now
obviously the court agreed that their dignity was the critical thing
here. Why do you disagree with that position?

KATY FAUST: Well because they have dignity, right? Single parents have
dignity. People that have never been married have dignity. You don't
gain dignity by a government bestowing that on you, you just have it.
The question is not whether or not they're - they have dignity and the
question is not even really whether or not they have the capacity to
love and commit the way heterosexuals do. They do. They absolutely do.
The question is: what is government's interest in marriage? It's really
not about affirming the connections that we have with one another. It
has to do with the product of those unions and there's something
distinct about the product of a union between heterosexuals. What's
distinct is that they make babies and those babies have rights and those
babies deserve protection.

TONY JONES: Katy Faust, we'll have to leave you there. Thank you very
much for coming in to join us.

KATY FAUST: Well, thank you for having me.

(5) Millie Fontana grew up in a lesbian household, speaks about her
experiences

https://www.facebook.com/familyvoiceaustralia/videos/687967894637069/

Millie Fontana grew up in a lesbian household. Now she is speaking out
about her experiences. This is an edited version; you can hear her full
talk at https://youtu.be/FCrzKsrZ1eg

(6) Traditional Families are still best

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-1027-goldberg-family-structure-20151027-column.html
http://www.aei.org/publication/why-family-matters-and-why-traditional-families-are-still-best

Jonah Goldberg @JonahNRO jgoldberg@latimescolumnists.com

October 27, 2015 | Los Angeles Times

It’s been a good month for champions of the traditional family, but
don’t expect the family wars to be ending any time soon.

In recent weeks, a barrage of new evidence has come to light
demonstrating what was once common sense. “Family structure matters” (in
the words of my American Enterprise Institute colleague Brad Wilcox, who
is also the director of the National Marriage Project at the University
of Virginia).

And Princeton University and the left-of-center Brookings Institution
released a study that reported “most scholars now agree that children
raised by two biological parents in a stable marriage do better than
children in other family forms across a wide range of outcomes.” Why
this is so is still hotly contested.

Another study, coauthored by Wilcox, found that states with more married
parents do better on a broad range of economic indicators, including
upward mobility for poor children and lower rates of child poverty. On
most economic indicators, the Washington Post summarized, “the share of
parents who are married in a state is a better predictor of that state’s
economic health than the racial composition and educational attainment
of the state’s residents.”

Boys in particular do much better when raised in a more traditional
family environment, according to a new report from MIT. This is further
corroboration of Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s famous 1965 warning: “From
the wild Irish slums of the 19th century Eastern seaboard, to the
riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in
American history; a community that allows a large number of men to grow
up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable
relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational
expectations about the future — that community asks for and gets chaos.”

Perhaps most intriguing — and dismaying — a new study by Nicholas Zill
of the Institute of Family Studies found that adopted children have a
harder time at school than kids raised by their biological parents. What
makes this so dismaying is that adoptive parents tend to be better off
financially and are just as willing as traditional parents, if not more
so, to put in the time and effort of raising kids.

Zill’s finding highlights the problem with traditional family
triumphalism. Adoption is a wonderful thing, and just because there are
challenges that come with adoption, no one would ever argue that the
problems adopted kids face make the alternatives to adoption better.
Kids left in orphanages or trapped in abusive homes do even worse.

In other words, every sweeping statement that the traditional family is
best must come with a slew of caveats, chief among them: “Compared to
what?” A little girl in a Chinese or Russian orphanage is undoubtedly
better off with two loving gay or lesbian parents in America. A kid
raised by two biological parents who are in a nasty and loveless
marriage will likely benefit from her parents getting divorced.

“In general,” writes St. Lawrence University professor Steven Horwitz,
“comparisons of different types of family structures must avoid the
‘Nirvana Fallacy’ by not comparing an idealized vision of married
parenthood with a more realistic perspective on single parenthood. The
choices facing couples in the real world are always about comparing
imperfect alternatives.”

Of course, that point can be made about almost every human endeavor,
because we live in a flawed world. And just because we don’t — and can’t
— live in perfect consistency with our ideals, that is not an argument
against the ideals themselves.

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that family structure is so controversial.
The family, far more than government or schools, is the institution we
draw the most meaning from. From the day we are born, it gives us our
identity, our language and our expectations about how the world should
work. Before we become individuals or citizens or voters, we are first
and foremost part of a family. That is why social engineers throughout
the ages see it as a competitor to, or problem for, the state.

And the family wars will never end, because family matters — a lot.